Sun

I've just been sat on the terrace reading and had to come inside because it was TOO HOT! How good does that sound? After what felt like the longest winter, having some good weather has really cheered me up! I was sitting up there thinking "I'm glad I'm alone" as my sunglasses slipped down my sweaty nose. Sweaty sweaty. I still have the stupid heat rash though. I'm sat with a water bottle tucked under my chin to try and get rid of it. Gross.

The girls have their swimming lesson again today, so I'm hoping that means I'm free again once they go back to school at 3pm. I might try and get to the beach for a bit. Sunbathing tiiiime. If I don't go back to England with a tan I will class this trip as a failure. I NEED a tan. I want to look good for graduation. Thinking of graduation, I need a dress. I keep looking in the shop windows in the town and they have some nice things, but I checked out the price of one dress and it was over 250 euros. I don't have that kind of money! I can sense a panicked shopping trip on my way home from the airport. 3 days before graduation, is that cutting it a bit fine?

Last night, I'd been doing some English with the older girl and we were making necklaces with some shells we got on the beach and the mum came in, asked the girl something then went mental at her. I thought maybe she was angry we were doing crafty stuff so quickly tidied up while the girl screamed and cried. It went on for about 5 minutes and I just sat there like... Whaaat? Turns out the girl had left some important work at school so couldn't revise for a test. Bit of an overreaction by the mum I thought, but hey, it's not my place to judge.

As if it's Thursday already! I've now been here over a week. 7 and a half weeks to go... A long time? I hope not. I forgot there was markets in the town today but now I don't have time to go before I pick up the children at 1. Next week maybe. This weekend there is some kind of festival in the town. Corpus Christi or something. Apparently they make like giant rugs of flower petals. Someone said something about having to get up at 7am on Sunday for the children to prepare their rug. I hope I'm not included in this. I should get weekends off, but I don't want to presume. I work so little, I feel like I should still make an effort at the weekend, but really, all I want to do is go and lay on the beach all day. I joined some meet up group on the internet and they're having a picnic on the beach on Sunday, should I go? I hope they're not all older than me. I'm really craving some young people company.

I got my start date for the Barcelona job. 27th September. Do I do it? I really can't decide. I want to find out where they are placing me before I commit to it, but I'm not sure when that will be. My friend is moving to Barcelona too so I'm sure I'd have fun, it's just the money that I'm worried about the most. It's not like I have super rich parents to scrounge from or a bank full of savings. Hmmm.

I'm so hungry. I'm trying to be healthy. I would love to go back to England and people be like wooow have you seen how great she looks, all tanned and thin! I had a pear and a kiwi for breakfast, then its some kind of weird combination of veg and tuna for lunch. I only need to wait another hour and a half until I have lunch. Must not eat. So hungry thought! I'll probably pass out on the way to pick up the children.

They have another 3 weeks of school before they start their summer hollidays. I'm dreading it. I like the peace and quiet in the house. Plus I'll have to work more. Blahhh. I want to ask more about how much I have to work in the holidays and at weekends but I don't know how. Guess I'll have to wait and see.

I might nap until it's time to get the children. Try and forget about the hunger.

Kisses

I'M FINISHED

I'VE FINISHED UNI!

After getting up at 7.30am after not enough sleep (work, then drunk housemates woke me up...) I got up to go to an event in town to take photos to add to my portfolio website. When I got home I had a final read of my essay, added my pictures to the site and submitted it all. Finished. I thought I'd be more excited than this, but I just don't know what to do with myself. I spent the rest of the day restlessly lounging in bed, packing to move out and cleaning. I'm so ready to go home but I've got to wait until Wednesday. Then I have exactly a week until Spain!

Insanely tired now though, so that's all for tonight. Cannot wait to go to sleep. Shower, then catch up on The Voice and then bed. Zzzzzzzz.

Kisses

Am I done?

I've blogged a lot recently. Bit sad really because I don't think anyone actually reads this...

I think I'm done with my uni work. Everything is submitted except one last STUPID essay. I keep reading it thinking I should change bits, but I really don't know what I could change. I'm going to have one last look at it tomorrow and then just submit it. Freedom!

I just want to go home now. I'm supposed to stay until Tuesday and go out for a last night out, then go home on Wednesday which I'm sure will be fun.. but I really want to go now. I'm working tomorrow night and then seeing some old housemates on Sunday so I can't go till Monday, and by then I might as well stay. I know when I get home I'll be complaining that I'm bored, but I just want to be back there and relax for a bit before Spain.

I have to work tonight. We're supposed to work every Friday night if we want any shifts during the week but I've managed to avoid it for weeks. It's so not my kind of thing. Loads of sweaty moshers dancing to heavy metal rock. So not my kind of thing. I've even agreed to start at 8pm instead of 11, which means moving round loads of tables and chairs by myself for 2 hours. Yay. I only have tonight and tomorrow night at work and then I'm finished! I feel like I should be sad, but right now I'm really not.

Wish I had more interesting things to blog about. If anyone is actually reading this, I promise to try and be more interesting once I get to Spain! In my mind it's going to be amazing, I'm going to love the family, meet loads of amazing people, do lots of cool things... but in reality I might hate it. I guess there's no way of knowing until I get there though. Last years summer plans all turned out to be a bit of a disaster. I went away three times. One time I fell out with my friend after leaving her in a Spanish hotel with an American man and no shoes, another I ended up in the only rainy bit of Spain, left early and went to Barcelona and got insanely burnt and then left Romania half way through my time there after nearly getting attacked by a Romanian man with chains and a baseball bat in our apartment. So altogether not great. I just don't want that to happen again. Hoping for some good luck this time.

Better get ready for work now. Preparing myself for a long night of awful music. Earplugs will definitely be coming out tonight.

Kisses

So close but so far

I'm so close to finishing my uni work. SO CLOSE. But finishing things off is harder than I thought it would be. It's more that I can't find the motivation to do it (no change there then..) which is stupid. The motivation should be finishing uni. Really, I could have my work finished and submitted tonight. Then that would be it. No more uni. But I just can't make myself do it. And I find it hard to know when I'm finished, I could keep editing more and more until I run out of time. I have an essay to edit, a curation piece to finish, my portfolio to finalise and then I'm done. Not a lot at all. But right now all I can think about is going to buy milkybar buttons from the shop. But I won't. I managed to pretty much inhale a big bar of dairy milk the other night and I can't let it happen again.

I've pretty much waved goodbye to my beach body. My willpower is 0. Looks like I'll be spending my summer in some kind of old lady kaftan, hiding in the shadows on the beach. I had such good intentions. How will I find Jose or Pablo (my Spanish husband-to-be)  if I look like a beached whale. Ok I'm not quite at whale point, but I'm not ready to strut down the beach like some kind of movie star. I'm thinking about getting a spray tan before I go. But then the depressing thing is I will probably leave England more tanned than I will be when I come home after 8 weeks in the sun.

8 weeks. I'm starting to feel like that's quite a long time. I've been away for 5 weeks before but even when I'm at uni I go home every three or four weeks for a few days. I guess I need to get used to it though, when I leave in September I won't be home again till Christmas and after that, it will probably be Easter or the summer. Hopefully I'll be having too much fun to notice.

Grumpy grumpy. I'm going to sit and try and do some work now. I'm so sleepy. I've been at work today and walked home in the rain and got wet feet. All I want to do is eat chocolate and watch some rubbish TV.

5 days to go...

Kisses

p.s. I got my hair cut. It wasn't too much of a disaster. I quite like it actually. If anything I'd have liked it a bit shorter but I couldn't bring myself to ask them..

Money

I just had the horrible task of checking my bank balance. I knew there wasn't going to be a lot.. but I literally have hardly anything. By the time I've paid my last lot of bills for the house I have nothing. Where does it all go? Why can't I control my spending? I don't even feel like I've spent much. I have worked quite a bit, but they're such short shifts I don't actually end up with much at all. Rubbish. There goes my plans of having my eyelashes tinted, buying some new shoes, replacing my laptop battery...

Oh no. I just remembered I have a hair cut booked for tomorrow. And no money to pay for it. You'd think after 3 years of living away from home I'd have learnt to budget a bit better. Maybe my parents will shower me with money for a graduation present. Probably not but I can imagine it for now.

I really wanted to buy some converse as well.

I've got my practical session for one of my modules today. It's worth 50 or 60% of the module so I need to do well. I'm being a "presenter". Don't know why, I hate being in front of the camera. I don't know what to wear either. Or what I'm supposed to say. But after this I only have 2 modules left to finish off. I think one of them is done but my tutor won't email back to confirm something and wants me to go in on Thursday, but I'm working. Stress. If I've got it right, then fine. If I've got it wrong then I'll lose too many marks. Why is it so hard :( Plus I'm over the word count. I'm getting to the point where I don't even care.

ONE WEEK TODAY UNTIL UNI IS FINISHED!

Kisses

Boredom, tiredness and hunger

So I should be writing my essay right now and instead I'm writing on here and thinking about what food to buy from the shop. I'm so hungry. A mini tin of beans was not a satisfying way to start my morning. I'm really craving fish and chips but is half 12 too early for them? Maybe I should wait till tea time. I'm really hungry now though. I want chocolate too but I have a bit of an issue with it. I don't have any self control and a big bag of malteasers can be gone in minutes. I'm not even joking, it's like I inhale them.

I'm blaming this mornings hunger on after work drinks last night. Alcohol always makes me so hungry the next day. I didn't even plan to stay, but free drinks after a long shift, how could I say no? Kind of regretted my decision after the first drink though. My usual work friends weren't there. We're the losers who stick together and hardly talk to the others. But we were part of the "original" lot and then the newbies started last September and we never really joined with them. There's one girl who's only young (18) and it's so obvious. Last night she was telling everyone about how she was going home (to halls) to "watch a film" with some guy. She made no secret of the fact they would be "watching a film" winky winky. She then went on to say stupid things like she doesn't have to find someone attractive to "get with them". I just sat there and cringed for her. In a couple of years she'll realise how naive and a bit trampy that makes her seem. Why would you sit there and tell our nice, but much older male manager that? It's not cool. No one was impressed. It doesn't sound so bad written down but she is so much of a "fresher" it's embarrassing. I don't care if you "got sooo drunk last night OMG I don't remember anything except getting with 5 guys lmao hahaha". Do it if you want but it's not making you seem super cool talking about it. I'm not sure if she, or the medical student who thinks she's perfect is the most annoying. Shut up and go away. I sat there looking miserable until someone agreed to get a taxi home with me. I got a free hoody though. Not that I will wear it anywhere other than my house, but still, freebies are always good.

I'm off to the shop now, going to try and control my spending and tryyy and not buy a mountain of crisps and chocolate.

I'm back. I was good and the only naughty thing I bought was 2 small packets of crisps and I've managed not to eat them yet. I'm going to the library soon though and that always means library snacks. Today I'm thinking skittles. My essay is nearly done (whether it's right or not, I have no idea, but it's nearly long enough) and my other bits of work are coming along well. Hopefully I can hand it all in by Friday and then I'm free! One more shift at work on Friday night and I'm hoping one of my parents will pick me up on Sunday. They might make me wait until next week though which isn't ideal, I've got a lot to do at home so sooner would be better. I'm a bit sad about finishing now, but at least I've got exciting things to look forward to. Really really going to miss my home friends though :( They all get back for summer after I've left for Spain and then most are away through August so that will only leave a few weeks to see them before Spain in September. Hmmm. Hopefully I'll have lots of visitors when I'm out there though.

Right, off to the library now. It's so warm outside, I got a bit sweaty walking to the shop. Not the idea day for library time. Nearly done, nearly done, nearly done. Need to keep remembering that!

Kisses