Me and Children Do Not Mix

Deciding to work with children would make you think I like them, right? Wrong. I have no patience with them. They wind me up, they're so clumsy, noisy, messy... Throw into the mix the inability to speak English and dealing with a 5 year old is not fun. Older children aren't so bad, but I can only pretend to be interested in what they're doing for so long. Then I start to zone out and daydream.

I have a beautiful little niece who is 4. I don't know if it's because she's family or because she's very well behaved but she is the only child I can cope with for long periods of time. Even then I am usually relieved when my brother comes to pick her up after a long day. I used to love children. Now not so much.

Today is another day of wondering why I'm here. The weather isn't great and I just wandered around this morning before picking the children up for lunch. It was the first day of me looking after them alone. It went ok, but I was glad to to drop them back off at school. I'm now free until 6.30/7pm as they have a swimming lesson after school and I learnt after last time I am better off not going. Not sure what to do with myself, is it bad to just sit and watch Eastenders? If it was sunny I'd go to the beach or in the pool but it's grey and windy.

I'm so up in the air with everything. Decisions decisions. I've contacted a few people doing the teaching programme I should be doing in September through Facebook (hello creepy stalker) so just waiting for them to reply. I don't want to rush into deciding anything. I've also contacted a copywriting business at home to see about arranging some work experience (super proactive) so I'll see what turns up. I'll finish my 8 weeks here, go home and see what occurs. I really want to see my friends, I haven't seen many since Easter so it'll be good to see them when I'm back in July. 3 more days until I can say "I go home next month". Why do I do this? I count down time and wish my life away far too much. I need to relax and enjoy now rather than think about whats next.

I need some sun. Then I'll be content spending my free time on the beach. Until then, bed and Eastenders it is.

Kisses