Weekend Away and Life Planning

My weekend in the Costa Brava was not what I expected. I naively had imagined a nice villa, sailing on a bit yacht while lounging in the sun and a long, luxurious meal served on a terrace by the sea... Instead we were staying at what I guess was like an outdoor pursuit center. Loads of children on a school trip, school dinner type food in a canteen and sailing was lots of people squashed into an unsteady looking boat. But overall it was alright.

On Saturday we arrived, had lunch, dumped our bags and headed off for "sailing". By this time it was FREEZING so I decided to stay on the shore and went with my host mum, her friend and the 2 youngest children. I had a hot chocolate (in Spain?! In May?!) and shivered away until they got back to shore. It chucked it down. And I mean REALLY chucked it down. It was like a monsoon. The children were grumpy, I was cold and one of the girls stood on my new, white converse with her sandy/muddy shoes :( We went to a bar for a drink and between 6 noisy children and 5 adults only speaking in Spanish I wondered why I was doing this. I could be at home doing nothing, choosing to do what I want, when I want and not having children around me 24/7. We went back to the place we were staying, showered and headed down for dinner (no vegetarian alternative so I ended up with greasy chips and a bit of salad...) before the adults cracked open the wine. They kept offering me more and for a moment I was tempted to down a bottle and get really drunk. But that would make me a bad au pair so refrained. One of the other dads got me a gin and tonic though and it was SO strong. After that I decided no more alcohol because I would definitely have got drunk. Before dinner, the English guy who is married to (or just "with") one of the family's friends arrived and we had an awkward conversation. He's lived in Spain 7 years and still can't speak the language. Crazy! Because we were both English we were basically left to make awkward conversation all night. He was nice, but there's only so much a 22 year old and a 40 or 50 something year old can talk about. I asked why he moved to Spain and that opened the can of worms about a messy divorce and England being a "dark" place for him. I just kind of sat there thinking about how unsympathetic I am and hoping he would change to a happier subject. Awkward. And yes I realised I used awkward three times in a few sentences describing our encounter, but that's what it was.

Today we went to the beach and they all went kayaking and paddling round on these ring things. I'd have done it, but no one told me that this weekend was like an adventure activity kind of thing and when they had told me to bring swimming stuff I was imagining laying on a yacht in the middle of the sea so brought a skimpy bikini... Not suitable for water sports. I told them I had a fear of canoes (what?) and sat on the beach with the mums and little children. I listened to my ipod and ignored everyone. Hello grumpy au pair. We headed back for lunch and more awkward conversation with Mr England. No one tells me what's going on and we'll all just be sat down, then everyone suddenly gets up and starts gathering their bags or something and I just have to pretend I totally know whats happening and join in... I think they forget they have to tell me but it makes me look a bit stupid!

I basically was a rubbish au pair this weekend. I get weekends off so I didn't know if I should be playing with the kids of hanging with the adults. I went to sit with the children to eat and was told to join the adults, but then I was worrying they were all whispering about how bad I was when I wasn't running round getting hot and sweaty chasing after a bouncy ball. We got back "home" at about 6.30 this evening and I made an effort with the older girl and showed her some photo's of my pets and friends at home (quickly skipping past the many drunken/badly behaved photo's on my phone...) and then played battleships before tea. It was quite nice actually and I'm starting to feel a bit more at home. Maybe 8 weeks isn't that long after all (must remember this next time I'm feeling grumpy!) and I'm sure it will fly by.

I've been doing a lot of thinking about working in Spain from September and I'm not sure it's what I want to do. It's working 25 hours a week, living with a host family and getting paid a "living allowance" of around 40 euros a week... They say they help you set up private English classes and can earn around another 200 euros a week but I'm not sure how likely that actually is. I don't want to be living with strangers, earning nothing and being grumpy. I'm starting to feel ready to get a job in the "real" world. But then this might change tomorrow, I seem so changeable at the moment. It's good to finally have time to think about what I want to do, hopefully by the time I go back to England I might have a bit more of a plan. From being 4 years old your life is planned out. Primary school > secondary school > sixth form > university. Then you hit 21 (22 in my case) and it's just like seeeeya work it out for yourself. I have a lot to think about, but luckily a lot of time to fill.

My plan for the week is to make more effort with the children (the family are so good to me, I need to make an effort for them!), explore the town a bit more, work out the washing machine and buy a belt. I brought one of my favourite dresses with me but it needs a belt and I forgot mine. I definitely checked round my room before I left looking for it and couldn't see it so I was convinced it was in my suitcase. Where do I buy a belt in a posh, tourist town? Everywhere is either gift shops or exclusive looking boutiques. Hmmm.

Apparently the weather isn't going to be great so no tanning for a few days. Probably a good thing. I've got a gross heat rash across my chest. I don't know where from because I spent most of the weekend shivering, but it's there and I hate it. I once got it really badly in Romania and it took ages to go. People keep asking if I'm burnt and I'm like I know I'm English, but even English people can't burn when there's barely any sun!

Fingers crosses it will go down overnight...

Kisses

p.s. There was a guy there this weekend called Juanca. Everyone pronounced his name wanker. Oblivious to what that means for me. I laughed to myself every time someone said it...